Double Homicide and Suicide With no Note!
by And.These.Are.Lemons
Summary: "Again with that stupid crying mantra. No, no, no, stop, please, no! Did she know any other words?" Songfic to Eminem's "Kim." Set in an AU, but not formally. Have fun with that.


_Title: Double Homicide and Suicide - With no Note!_

_Disclaimer: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac (C) Jhonen Vasquez  
__Kim (Lyrics) (C) Eminem/Slim Shady/Marshall (Whatever makes you guys happy. :D)_

_Summary: Devi and Nny have a fight~  
To the words of Kim by Eminem! :D Let's think of this like they've "loved" one another for a while. They've had a baby, ain't that dandy? :3 I bet you that baby'd be cute. ANYWAY!_

_Note: This is pretty crack-ish. Maybe it's pot. I guess. :/_

_Note V2: I'm just sayin'...but I can see Eminem and Johnny acting similar if Eminem was a little more crackpot and fucked up. Skinnier, more irrational, you know. So I know this may not really fit, but I needed to do something for this song, and I think Johnny was the only one fucked up enough to be anything close to a mascot for this song. You know?_

_Note V3: I used balzonry's baby name generator to make the baby girl's name. I entered Devi's name, and Johnny's name, and they offered the name "Elizabeth Ximena" X3_

_Note V4 (And most important): I reccomend you listen to this song before you read this, or at least while you're reading it. It really makes this make more sense. *cough*Even though I don't call Kim a real SONG, but it's still amazing*cough*_

_ENJOY THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! :D *shudders*_

Johnny stared down at his baby, his dear baby girl. Elizabeth had turned out so well. She was just beautiful. She looked just the right amount like her mother, and just enough like her father. Even though her parents were horribly insane, she was perfect.

"_Aww look at daddy's baby girl. That's daddy baby, little sleepy head. Yesterday I changed your diaper, wiped you and powdered you. How did you get so big? Can't believe it, now you're two. Baby you're so precious, daddy's so proud of you._" Johnny smiled down at his little girl in admiration, and then he saw something move from the corner of his eye. His face contorted, and he was glad Elizabeth was asleep. He closed the door slowly, and saw her making for the door. "_Sit down bitch! If you move again I'll beat the shit out of you!_" He barked angrily at the skinny, purple haired woman he had married.

"_Okay!_" She whimpered and sat quickly.

"_Don't make me wake this baby! __She doesn't need to see what I'm about to do! __Quit crying bitch, why do you always make me shout at you? __How could you? __Just leave me and love him out of the blue! __Oh, what's the matter, Devi? __Am I too loud for you? __Too bad bitch, you're gonna finally hear me out this time! __At first, I'm like, all right, __You wanna throw me out? That's fine! __But not for him to take my place, are you out of your mind? __This couch, this TV, this whole house is mine! __How could you let him sleep in our bed? __Lookit, Devi! __Look at your husband now!_" He pushed her when she tried to stand up. He hadn't wanted to fight, especially in front of Elizabeth, but Devi shrugged her affair off without a care, and he couldn't take that.

"_No!_" Devi whimpered and whined, but she hadn't even seen the half of what was to come.

"_I said look at him! He isn't so hot now, is he? Little punk!_" He growled and spat every other word out, straining not to kill her right then and there. He tried to walk away. To cool off.

"_Why are you doing this?_" She cried, and made him turn around.

"_Shut the fuck up!_" He wanted to walk away, really he did. Maybe have another drink. He got angrier about how he took up drinking after the baby.

"_You're drunk! You'll never get away with this!_" That was going too far, in Johnny's mind.

"_You think I give a fuck? Come on, we're going for a ride, bitch!_" He was already getting a horrible sadistic grimace on his face.

"_No!_" He tried to pull her out of the door. Nobody would notice them. He was still invisible to the world.

"_Sit up front!_" He got her to the car, and shoved her in shotgun.

"_Well, I can't just leave Elizabeth all alone! What if she wakes up?_" She tried to make him feel bad. Make him let her back to the house, but he was already driving.

"_We'll be right back. Well, I will, you'll be in the trunk._" Johnny drove madly through the streets, and started rushing down the highway.

_So long, bitch you did me so wrong.  
I don't wanna go on, living in this world without you.  
So long, bitch you did me so wrong.  
I don't wanna go on, living in this world without you._

"_You really fucked me, Devi! __You really did a number on me! __Never knew me cheating on you would come back to haunt me. __But we were kids then Devi! I was only 18! __That was years ago! __I thought we wiped the slate clean! __That's fucked up!_" He swerved around cars, making his point with the wheel.

"_I love you..._" She tried to grasp his arm.

"_Oh god, my brain is racing!_" He clutched the side of his head with one bony hand.

"_I love you!_" She tried the radio. Maybe it would calm him down.

"_What are you doing? Change the station! I hate this song! Does this look like a big joke?_"

"_No!_" She shook her head as he swatted at the radio.

"_There's a four year old boy lying dead with a slit throat in your living room!_" He laughed dangerously. "_What, do you think I'm kidding you? You loved him didn't you?_" He screamed now.

"_No!_" She seemed to be saying that alot lately.

"_Bullshit, you bitch, don't fucking lie to me! __What the fuck's this guy's problem on the side of me? __Fuck you asshole, yeah bite me! Devi? Devi__! __Why don't you like me? __You think I'm ugly don't you?_" He was near crying. It was really all out of proportion, but she never said the right thing.

"_It's not that!_" She cried again, much too loud for him.

"_No, you think I'm ugly!_" He was going hysterical.

"_Baby!_" God, could she ever say anything right?

"_Get the fuck away from me! Don't touch me! **I hate you! I hate you! I swear to god I hate you! **Oh my god, I love you... How the fuck could you do this to me?_" He screamed, crying now.

"_Sorry!_"

"_How the fuck could you do this to me?_" He just wanted her to answer his fucking questions. Was that too much to ask?

_So long, bitch you did me so wrong.  
I don't wanna go on, living in this world without you.  
So long, bitch you did me so wrong.  
I don't wanna go on, living in this world without you._

"_Come on! Get out!_" He was parked at a clearing. The same one where they had their first date. The same calm precipice, where you could stare down on the city.

"_I can't! I'm scared!_" She was awkwardly fumbling with the door handle.

"_I said get out, bitch!_" He grabbed her obnoxious ponytails.

"_Let go of my hair! Please don't do this, baby! Please, I love you! Look we can just take Elizabeth and leave!_" There was really no point in trying. He wasn't in control of his mind anymore. He was lost.

"_Fuck you! You did this to us! __You did it, it's your fault! __Oh my god, I'm cracking up! __Get a grip, Johnny!_" His mood swung irrationally. "_Hey remember the time we went to Edgar's party? __And you were, like, so drunk that you threw up all over Jimmy? __That was funny wasn't it?_" He let out a wet laugh.

"_Yes._" she whimpered.

"_That was funny, wasn't it!_" He yelled at her.

"_Yes!_" She yelled back.

"_See it all makes sense, doesn't it? __You and your husband have a fight. __One of you tries to grab a knife, a__nd during the struggle he accidentally gets his Adam's apple sliced!_" He laughed crazily.

"_No!_" Again with that damned crying mantra. No, no, no, yes, no, please! Did she know any other words?

"_And while this is going on, h__is son just woke up and he just walks in. __She panics and he gets his throat cut, too!_" He watched her reaction.

"_Oh my god..._"

"_So now they're both dead and you slash your own throat! __So now it's double homicide and suicide! With no note! __I should have known better when you started to act weird, w__e could've**...hey!** Where are you going? Get back here! __You can't run from me, Devi. __It's just us, nobody else! __You're only making this harder on yourself._" He chased after her and caught her in the same minute. He laughed angrily. "_Got'cha!_"

"_Ahh!_" She screamed, because she knew he was going to do something stupid. Something he didn't really mean to do, or want to do. Mostly. Something he _mostly_ didn't want to do.

"_Ha! Go ahead yell! __Here I'll scream with you! **Ahh! Somebody help! **__Don't you get it, bitch, no one can hear you? __Now shut the fuck up and get what's coming to you! __You were supposed to love me!_" He produced something silver and shiny from his coat, and she felt a sharp pain in her throat. She started chocking, and there was blood everywhere. _"**Now bleed, bitch, bleed! Bleed, bitch, bleed! Bleed, bitch, bleed! Bleed!**_" And it was over just like that.

_So long, bitch you did me so wrong.  
I don't wanna go on, living in this world without you.  
So long, bitch you did me so wrong.  
I don't wanna go on, living in this world without you._

So long, bitch you did me so wrong.  
I don't wanna go on, living in this world without you.  
So long, bitch you did me so wrong.  
I don't wanna go on, living in this world. without you.

And then, Johnny was just left in a puddle of Devi's blood, with his sanity slowing returning to him.  
Facts were coming back slowly.

He had a baby girl, named Elizabeth.  
She was two.

He was married to Devi, tomorrow was their three year anniversary.  
He loved her deeply.

Devi was dead, not long dead at all.  
And he did it.

* * *

_Holy shit that was fun. :3_

_Depressing. But fun~ _

_I'm not too happy with the titling, but whatever. It'll probably change, knowing me. X3_

_Bring me some reviews, eh? :D_


End file.
